Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Guilty as Charged

I’m a responsible, upstanding member of society.  I love being a wife and mom and my hobbies include sewing, knitting, singing, and journaling.  But I have secret behavior and some bad habits.  One of my goals with my writing this blog is to be as honest and real as possible.  And so, in trying to keep with that, here are ways that I am undeniably human:

I watch awful television.  I love the shows Sex and the City, Jersey Shore, and Teen Mom.  I know this is filth, I only watch it once Muffin is asleep for the night because I don’t think I could handle the guilt of it on in the background while we play together.  There is no way I’d allow her to watch it or emulate ANY of the people/characters within these programs.  Not to mention that my sweet husband was the only man at the midnight showing of the Sex and the City movie.  He definitely deserves a medal for putting up with my choices in entertainment.

I have a swear word switch.  I’m not proud of this at all and it is something I am working on.  It’s as if as soon as Muffin is napping or asleep the “Mommy filter” shuts off.  I don’t curse non-stop by any means, or even everyday, but I definitely let a few fly every now and then.  This is a work in progress.

I have a temper.  I blame a lot of it on being a red head, when really I have no idea if that’s true, it’s more or less just my lame excuse.  However, I have gotten so much better at this; I used to get steamed at the smallest details or rude people.  (Since Muffin’s arrival I have to pat myself on the back that I have really toned it down in this department).  I don’t have an anger problem, when I get angry there is always a just cause.  I don’t read between the lines and I don’t over analyze what is said to me.  If you want to offend me you pretty much have to just come out and say it, I’m like a guy in this respect.  This goes the other way as well, when I say things; it comes out just the way I mean it, no hidden message or meaning.  People who try to decipher a deeper meaning or infer things from what I say are wasting time.  Ask anyone who knows me, if I have something to tell you I will most certainly let you know and if you’re curious, just ask, I’m happy to clarify.  (Yet another issue I have, but it too is now a lot better).  My motto at this stage of my life has been: If you give someone enough rope, they will hang themselves.  And it’s often proven true and really helped me better manage my patience in dealing with others. (As well as lots of prayer!  Well, tons of prayer!)

I’m a late night snacker.  I have recently switched to the 100-calorie snack packs, but it’s still an awful habit to eat before bed.  My goal is to eventually kick this habit completely (all of these habits really, well, except for maybe the television).  I’ve gotten a little better at this, but I still have nights that I just need a snack to fall asleep.  Gosh, that just sounds so awful, but it’s true.

There it is.  These are the biggies.  I’m ashamed of all of them and I’m hesitant to put this out there but it’s just because it’s hard to let others see your imperfections.  But I’ve been blessed to have people in my life who love and accept me and are patient with all of these, as well as work with me to better myself.  No one wants to point out flaws within themselves; it’s only natural to stay guarded, and to protect yourself from hurt.  But I’m hoping that if I can open up and show my weaknesses to others that they will open their hearts with kindness towards everyone’s human flaws.  And if I can be honest with myself about who I am, it will be an invitation for God to help me humbly better myself.

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