Fear

Sometimes it creeps in, very unexpectedly.  Sometimes I can feel like I’m reaching for something just out of my grasp.  The things I can’t control, the inevitable, the things I can control but fail at anyway.  Whether it’s ill loved ones, trying something new, finances, watching friends struggle, or fear of not being enough; we all deal with our own battles. 

I can feel a tinge of fear when I see the health of my Grandpappy getting worse.  I cringe at an unexpected bill.  I worry about dear friends who are fighting their own personal battles and sink when I hear a message on my voicemail because I was too busy to answer the phone when they needed me.  I can feel completely drained and guilty at the same time when I feel like I wasn’t able to be there for every person exactly when they needed me.  I fear things out of my control.

And then I pray.

I talk to Him as if I were talking to anyone else.  I know He knows what’s going on but I tell Him anyway.  I often have conversations with Him, Nana, Uncle Timmy, and Grandma, like we are all just hanging out.  I vent.  I find the time.  When I’m rocking Muffin, while I’m driving, as lay down for a nap and the house is quiet, as I wait in the kitchen by the stove for food to finish cooking.

And although the answer doesn’t always come instantly, the peace does.

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl

Happy Birthday Katie! 

You are so loved, more than you’ll ever know, and I can’t thank you enough for always making time to be so active in our little Muffin’s life.  I know how busy you are with your senior year in college, club basketball, two jobs, and all of the social events, and you still make us a priority and feel so special.  I don’t know how you do it all and I wish there was a way I could tell you how very very proud I am of you.  You will do wonderful things and we will always be there cheering you on and supporting you through the ups and downs.  I am so honored to be your sister and Muffin is lucky to have such a wonderful strong woman as a role model and aunt.  I love you very much and happy birthday sweet girl!



Godmother Katie



Celebrating Muffin's 1st birthday

Helping Aunt Katie study for her LSAT

This Weekend Together: Pepaw and Grandma's

This past weekend we set up a much needed play date with Muffin's Pepaw and Grandma.  We have been doing this a lot lately.  They recently moved just down the road and they were hundreds of miles away.  Everyone is enjoying the extra time and the impromptu visits.  Especially one little very loved girl...

*and for the record I am not responsible at all for this outfit, Daddy dressed her and was very proud of what he had picked out.

The Time Inbetween

Some of our best moments are the events and visits we are able to squeeze into our somewhat hectic schedules.  While I've been very busy with my work from home and Corey with his work in general, we were able to have a wonderful visit from Cousin Curti and make a trip to a local fall festival.

Us checking out some "interesting" crafts

Sneaking a little bit of play time while the boys ate their funnel cakes

Cousin Curti getting his snuggles in while Muffin checks out his zipper

So far I am adoring Fall of 2011!

Busy Momma

 

Nannying during the week.  Baking fondant cakes for Bella Cakes into the wee hours.  Sewing, crocheting, and knitting special orders.  All the while being Mom 'round the clock.  Yep, I guess I'm pretty busy.  Last weekend I set up a booth with a friend at the local craft fair and although the crowds were minimal, I will be in an article in the local newspaper (free advertising), it will have been well worth the effort.

Bella Inspired - My special order sewn, knit, or crochet items.

Bella Cakes - My cake venture, making fondant cakes for all occasions.

The Little Things

        I hear ice and water hitting the kitchen floor, she’s at it again, pressing down the pedals on the refrigerator door, laughing so hard I think she might hyperventilate.  It’s contagious and I start giggling too.  I throw down a towel and take a picture to send to her Daddy at work.  This is just one example.

            Some days I feel like I’m a broken record, “Honey please be careful”, “no ma’am”, “I don’t think so, is that yours?”  I feel like I just squash fun all day, I know the fireplace poker is really tempting and slamming the cabinets just seems awesome but there are some obvious safety lessons to be taught.  But the messes, the things that won’t hurt and only take a load of laundry and 15 minutes to clean up, I can let happen.

            We can feel cooped up here at the house, and my day may go by a little easier if I keep the messes contained and trail she leaves to a minimum.  But that keeps her from exploring and discovering here within our own house.  It also challenges the way she was made to learn, by doing.  If I reprimanded her for every little thing, I would be cheating her out of experiencing little life lessons and undermining budding self-confidence.

            Don’t get me wrong, she isn’t allowed to climb the stairs unassisted and there are baby gates and outlet plugs at every turn.  I just don’t fear the mess, the dirt, or the stains of toddler hood.  So we laugh and play, strip off our dirty clothes, and hop in the shower; and sometimes the clean up is just as fun as the mess making.